Don and I have decided to Divorce

Don and I have had enough! A lawyer has drawn up an agreement that we feel is fair. The following is our divorce agreement.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT 2009


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree
on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our
two sides can come to a friendly agreement.

After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective
representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides
have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU, and abortion clinics.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the
NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie
O'Donnell....

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal
aliens.

We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms and rednecks. We'll keep the
Bibles and give you MSNBC, NBC and Hollywood ...
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right
to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our
way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.
You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute:
‘I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing’, ‘Kum Ba Ya’ or ‘We
Are the World.’

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us
will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda with you.

Hee hee!! I love it! Sign me up!